If I were to be honest its probably one of my favourite words but some people seem so opposed to its use that to so much as utter it in their presence, wether or not it be directed at them, results in faux gagging, looks of dissapointment and even the occasional slap.
In America its utterence is equivilant to announcing that you’ve been hiding WMD’s in your turban, on a transatlantic flight….headed for Washington. I exploited this on my birthday by telling all the Americans that, in Ireland, its among the most endearing words you can use. Que every yank in the room walking around going “hello cunt, nice to meet you my fellow cunt etc.” for the rest of the night. They thought it was hillarious, walking around the room like a herd of semi-stoned lemmings. It climaxed with Laneways screaming blue murder at me as I cackled from the other side of the room, enjoying my little act of subversion. She still hasn’t forgiven me, but, in my defence-I was telling the truth.
Cunt is one of the most endearing words in an Irish persons vocabulary. Its also, in a uniquely Irish way, one of the most insulting things you can say to someone. Depending on the manner of delivery; tone, volume and indeed the personal relationship between parties involved “come’ere ye fuckin’cunt” can have very different meanings:
1. Excuse me sir, could you come a little closer. Its just that I’m finding it rather difficult to beat you to bloody pulp, what with you standing all the way over there and me being held back by these rather burly bouncers.
2. My old friend, it has been too long. Come here, embrace me as a brother, let nothing ever come between us. And let us drink and laugh and cry together; until the sun rises once more, and we wake up on the floor.
3. I am the worst boyfriend you will ever have, and we both know it too.
Why this paradox I ask? Surely, a sentence cannot have such wholly opposite meanings. Not least without the slightest variation on word structure-well… I mean…. of course it can….. I just said it could…. sorta the whole point of this post-but why? Why, why, why?
We discussed the topic at great leangth in my laboratory(The Swan) and, as our theories got progressively more far-fetched and harder to remember the next day, decided to settle on the first thing we had came up with(about 5 hours previously).
The explanation, as it appeared to us, was that in this part of the world vocabulary is informed by a certain personnal knowledge. Cunt is an insulting word, but, if there is sufficient mutual affection between both parties it transforms into the single most affectionate thing “masculine emotional paralysis and acute homophobia” allow you to say. In other words, you are not calling someone a ‘cunt’. You are saying that “we’re such good friends that I can refer to you in fowlest of terms and you’ll know I’m only messing because; I love you really”. Its saying that the bond of friendship between you is so strong that only something really terrible could break it. In those terms, the terms we have all been sub-consciously using it on, it becomes an almost beautiful word.
Its a bit like the first time your dad breaks your nose and you have to tell social services that you fell off a swing, deep down you know he loves ye-the fuckin’cunt.
